Ice/Reaux (Bayou Heat Boxset #10) Read online

  Clinical.

  “Would you agree that after being born in captivity, growing up in captivity, Caleb needs as much normalcy as possible?” the Healer probed.

  Despite the weirdness of his mother’s seven-hour hug, Caleb was great. Happier than she’d ever seen him. Living in the Wildlands had been the best thing for him. The air, the magic. His Pantera side was being fulfilled every day. He loved being with the older males, learning about who he was…

  Caleb was great.

  Pain rippled through her bones and she bit her lip. What about Ward? Didn’t anyone care about Ward? Where was he? Was he still alive? Was he hurting?

  And Tate?

  On an exhale, she put her head in her hands.

  “Is the wound hurting you?” Mackenzie asked, referring to the bullet that had grazed the flesh of her temple when she, Ice and Cammy had escaped yet another of Benson Enterprises’ horrifying labs.

  “No,” Karen whispered into her palms. The wound that pained her was deep and far reaching. It was a wound that would never heal until she knew her children were safe.

  “Tell me what Ward said to you when he held you captive.”

  You didn’t want me.

  “Did he hurt you?” the female pressed.

  No. I did the hurting.

  And in the end, Ward had helped her. Had sacrificed himself for her. Her child, her cub, as the Pantera called them, who was now a grown man. Despite being chronologically nine, he nearly looked and acted as old as she.

  There was a sigh from behind the desk. Poor, annoyed Healer.

  “Karen, maybe it would be a good idea if, while you receive treatment, Caleb is placed with one of our families.”

  Startled, Karen glanced up. “What?”

  The female’s eyes flashed. She’d gained Karen’s attention. Finally. The chess move made Karen not only dislike the female, but distrust her.

  “Just for a short time. We have some wonderful families. Even perhaps with our leader, Raphael, and his mate. They have a young cub. I’m sure he would enjoy—”

  “You’re not taking my child.” The tone that came out of Karen wasn’t normal for someone with zero Pantera blood. It was lethal.

  “Please don’t be angry,” Mackenzie told her in an irritatingly gentle voice. “Think of Caleb. His needs…”

  Heat rushed up from Karen’s neck into her head, making her dizzy. Her hands were balled into fists, and she knew if she didn’t get out of there, she was going to do something stupid. Something that could make things worse for her and Caleb.

  “I don’t feel very well,” she muttered, coming to her feet. Her legs felt unsteady, like they were filled with water. “We’ll do this another time. I need to go home and lie down.”

  “Can I help you?”

  “No.”

  Mackenzie called after her, but Karen heard nothing as she stumbled out of the room and closed the door. She never wanted to see that female again. She’d go to Raphael herself. After all that she and the other rats had been through… Taking away what was most important to them…

  Her child…

  Can you blame them? You’re falling apart. It felt like that. Something had unleashed itself in that cell Ward had put her in. Something panicky and wild. Maybe she should take Caleb and go. But where? And would the Pantera let her take one of their own out of the Wildlands? Especially now, when they were calling back all of their kind?

  The idea of Caleb being taken… Like Ward and Tate. Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. She grabbed hold of the back of a chair in the empty waiting room. The dark waiting room. Or was that her vision?

  No light.

  No air.

  Crying out, she pushed away from the chair and stumbled forward. The world was listing, like she was out to sea. Heat surged into her skull. She grabbed the first thing she could find. Door handle. She turned and pushed. Where was the cool air? She wanted out. But all that met her was warm, hard, solid. Her legs buckled.

  “Hey. Hey.” A male voice entered her consciousness. Low timbre. Concerned.

  And then she was being lifted or carried or helped. Eased down. When her back felt the steady support of the wall, she sagged against it and released a breath.

  “Are you a patient of Mackenzie’s?” the male asked.

  No. No more Mackenzie.

  She must’ve shaken her head because he asked, “Dante? Suja?”

  His voice, it was like a drug. The kind that instantly soothed, made you want to cleave to it, curl up against it.

  “You’re all right,” he assured her. “Can you look at me? Talk to me?”

  She felt her chin being lifted, and she opened her eyes. Blinking a few times, the world came back into focus. A room, office, but not like Mackenzie’s. This was like…nature inside.

  “What’s your name?”

  She turned to the man. No…to the male who was crouched before her. Like the Pantera cat he no doubt hid inside him. His black hair was closely shaved to his skull, and his face was starkly, brutally handsome, all sharp angles with a heavy mouth. But his gray eyes were the kindest, most sincere she’d ever seen.

  He reached for her, his hand coming to her cheek. “Breathe, female,” he said as he stroked her skin. “In and out.”

  Hypnotized, she stared at him. She knew many of the Healers. But this one…this gorgeous, gentle, yet no doubt deadly creature was a stranger to her.

  “My name is Reaux. Do you want to tell me who you are?”

  His voice…whatever properties it contained, was a balm to her wounds. It cocooned her. Made her feel safe. Understood. Cared for. It made her feel like she could finally trust—

  Tears broke from her eyes and she started to cry. Deep, heaving sobs that had refused to come for days, weeks, years. They weren’t the kind that stemmed from fear or agony—those had dried up long ago—but the kind that came from intense release.

  She couldn’t stop.

  She didn’t want to.

  And when the magical creature called Reaux pulled her into his arms, and held her close, she let the downpour come.

  ***

  He was an idiot.

  A reckless male.

  Holding this female. Stroking her cheek.

  But he couldn’t let her go. Steady tears, her heart bleeding in front of him, her fingers wrapped tightly around his shirt sleeves? This was what he’d wanted from the first moment he’d been confirmed as a Healer. To clear the pain, to define the ache.

  To heal the heart and mind.

  As her grip on him tightened, his lip curled. Mistakes like him—curses of the blood—they didn’t get to see their dreams or their desires realized. They were happy with what they got. And speaking of desire, he mused darkly, he needed to detach this female from his body and send her on her way before wet eyes turned into a wet sex. She might be human, no doubt one of the rats who’d been rescued and brought to the Wildlands, but she would still very much be affected by him.

  That was the last thing he wanted—to have his colleagues think he’d allowed a single, female patient near him.

  He eased her back, hoping it wasn’t already too late. He’d been incredibly reckless. Hoping that when he looked into her eyes, he wouldn’t see that customary stain of arousal. But he was lucky for once. Beautiful light brown, almost amber orbs stared up at him. Tear-heavy to be sure, but clear. He breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes.

  Goddess, don’t apologize, female. Not for your tears or for clinging to me like your very breath depends upon it. You have no idea how it feels. How long it’s been since a female’s touched me for anything other than their own sexual pleasure.

  “No need to apologize,” he said finally, his gaze moving over her pale, exquisite face, and the heavy fall of copper hair that framed it. “Not for your pained heart, your tears or that you needed another’s strength for a moment.”

  Even as he said the words, his mind was telling him to disentangle himself fro
m her, leave the office and go find one of the other emotional Healers to take over. It was only a matter of time. No doubt his body had already released the scent. Its venom, he called it now. And this female wouldn’t be able to help herself. Instead of clinging to him, she’d claw him. Instead of tears, there would be cries to be touched and demands for release. Her mouth would call to his, and her hands would find his zipper.

  Slowly, gently, he pulled back and stood. She made a sound like it pained her to be separated from him, and he cursed inwardly. It was happening already. Normally, he didn’t get worked up when the females did. The cachet of being desperately desired had worn off. Because it had nothing to do with him, as a male. But this woman…there was something about her that interested him, drew him.

  Foolish male.

  As he helped her to her feet, he refused to look at her. In those eyes, at that mouth. Even now, his fingers itched to touch her hair. Just one slow drag up to her scalp.

  “What’s your name?” he commanded.

  “Karen.”

  He opened the door to his office and stood before it. “You need to go, Karen. Back to where you came from.”

  No doubt his sharp tone shocked her. After all, he’d been kind and gentle only seconds before. But she didn’t recoil from him at all.

  “I was in with Mackenzie,” she started. “But—”

  “You should return to her. She’s an excellent therapist.”

  She shook her head. “Not for me. She’s not right. I couldn’t open up to her at all. She doesn’t make me feel…” She nibbled on her bottom lip.

  Right. He was too late. His venom had already entered her bloodstream. “No. I’m sure she doesn’t.”

  “You’re a Healer, aren’t you?”

  “I treat couples only.”

  She didn’t move from her spot near the door. “I know this is going to sound crazy. But I’m sure you’ve had a lot of crazy in here, right?”

  “Karen, you need—”

  “I think it’s you, Reaux.”

  It was impossible to stop. His gaze slid to hers and he demanded, “What’s me?”

  Her expression was alive with hunger and passion. “The one. The person who can help me.”

  Reaux shook his head. “I’m sorry, Karen, I can’t—”

  “I understand that you specialize in couples, but maybe you can make an exception? Just this once.”

  “No.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Trust me, I do. Now, let me take you back to Mackenzie. She may not be the perfect person to help you, but she’s available.”

  No doubt he looked as resolute, as cold, as he sounded. But truly, it was for her own good. She only thought she wanted him, needed him. But it was the curse.

  “I understand.” She gave him a tight, forced smile. “Thanks for the help, but I’ll find my own way.”

  He was used to anger from females now. But on her, it felt…wrong. “Again, I’m sorry.”

  “Goodbye, Reaux.”

  His name on her lips—those lips—was painfully tempting to hear. But he wouldn’t stop her. He was many things: a mistake, a slut, a predator. But the one he was most proud of, the Healer part of him, would never intentionally hurt another soul. No matter how beautiful or how intriguing that soul was.

  CHAPTER 2

  “What do you mean he wouldn’t help you?” Indy asked, plopping into the chair opposite Karen’s desk at the clinic. “Such an asshole.”

  “The thing is, I don’t think he is.” Her body still trembling from both the session with Mackenzie and whatever that was with Reaux, Karen had come back to her office. She didn’t want to go home. Didn’t want anyone thinking she was falling apart again, even though she absolutely was. But with the female Healer’s suggestion of taking Caleb away from her hanging over her head, she couldn’t let anyone think she had fissured. Even the woman in front of her.

  “Refusing to help one of us?” Indy went on, her biker chick/pixie-doll face a mask of disgust. “After all we’ve been through—and shit, after all you’ve been through.”

  She gave the woman a nod of solidarity. Indy had been her friend in captivity. A good, real friend. They understood each other, shared the pain of those times. In truth, she was the only person Karen could talk to right now who might be able to help her. Well, the only person who would talk back.

  “I’d go to Raphael,” Indy said, her dark blue eyes flashing.

  “No.” Just the idea of running to the leader of the Pantera with her complaints, putting herself and what she was struggling with on his radar… No way. “It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” She shook her head. “It just seemed like he…I don’t know…he understood, or something. The way he looked at me with those eyes, touched me.”

  “I’m sorry, what? He touched you?”

  “I was really upset, crying—”

  Indy’s eyes bulged further. “You were crying? I’ve never seen you cry.”

  “When he held me.” She forged onward. “I felt…”

  “Safe?” Indy finished for her.

  Karen gasped softly. “Yes. But is that even possible for us?”

  “Angel makes me feel it.” Her cheeks went pink as she spoke of her Healer mate. “All the time.”

  Karen’s eyes dropped to the desk before her. Her heart actually hurt at Indy’s words. Not because she begrudged her friend the obvious deep connection she had with her mate. But because with that first taste of such a connection, Karen had been denied.

  “He made you feel that, Karen?” Indy asked her. “Safe?”

  She looked up. Nodded.

  A gentle smile touched Indy’s mouth. “Then you need to go to Raphael. Hell, I’ll talk with Angel. They’re both Healers. I’m sure he knows him.” She snorted with attitude. “Won’t treat you. Couples only. Whatever.”

  “Are you guys talking about Reaux?”

  Both women turned to the door. A very pretty female with shoulder-length blond hair and a cupid-bow mouth stood there. Her name was Gail and she was one of Jean-Baptiste’s assistants. She was also a huge gossip.

  “Sorry,” she said with an impish shrug. “Couldn’t help overhearing.”

  “Yeah right,” Indy muttered under her breath.

  “Everyone knows Reaux.” A slow smile crossed the female’s expression. “Or they’d like to. He’s got…that thing. Can’t take your eyes off him, or your hands, kind of thing. But he’s impossible to catch, if you know what I mean.”

  Karen might’ve been falling apart emotionally, but she wasn’t an idiot. Of course she knew what Gail was implying. And this little beastie inside her wondered if Gail had actually succeeded in the eyes-hands-catching department. But she didn’t ask. Instead, she made shit very clear. “I’m not interested in knowing or catching him. Just being treated by him.”

  “Well, that's too bad, hon. Because he only works—”

  “With couples, I know.”

  “He’s not a ‘lie on the couch and tell me about your childhood’ kind of therapist. I’m assuming that’s what you want.”

  “Don’t assume, Gail,” Indy put in. “Makes everyone asses.”

  “I was just informing. What he is. What he’s not.”

  Karen was really tired all of a sudden. Way too tired for this back-and-forth nonsense with Gail. Caleb was playing with one of the hybrid cubs. Maybe she should go get him early.

  But Indy was still hungry for more. “So? What kind of Healer is he then, Gail?”

  The female’s mouth broke into a wicked smile. “The sexual kind.”

  The tiny office went silent. Indy looked at Karen, who in turn was staring at Gail. Who seemed thrilled to be the one sharing such a juicy piece of news. No doubt the rest of the Pantera already had this info long ago.

  “Reaux has this sort of gift-slash-curse thing,” she continued. “Born with it. It’s like his cat’s pheromones also shed from his human skin.”

  “What the hell does that mean?” Indy asked. />
  “You know how your mate—Angel, right? When he’s in his cat form he has a musk you can’t resist?”

  Indy turned bright red.

  “Oh, honey, every male cat produces that. Don’t be embarrassed.”

  “I’m not,” she ground out. “Go on.”

  “Well, Reaux has that all the time. Cat form. Male form. He’s sexually irresistible to unmated females.”

  Mouth open, Karen looked over at Indy, who seemed as stunned as she was.

  “That’s why he only works with couples,” Gail said, hugging her files to her chest. “The males have marked their females, and will fight to the death for them if pushed. And most of the time the mated females are not tempted by him, anyway. He brings on a boost of sexual energy and healing to the couples. It’s pretty amazing.” Gail cocked her head, her cheeks flushing. “We all try and get with him. Just for a night. I hear the musk alone can send a female over the edge, if you know what I’m saying.”

  Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Karen understood what the female was saying. Not that it was easy to believe.

  “I don’t care about his musk,” she said, though she’d be lying if she didn’t admit she was intrigued. “I’m not looking for a combustible night with him—”

  “Sweetie, you won’t be able to stop yourself from wanting it. Not if you’re within a few feet. But good luck if you try.” And with a wink, she left the doorway and headed off down the hall.

  Indy snorted. “Can you believe that shit?”

  “No.” She stood, legs still unsteady. She didn’t know what to make of any of it. “I’m going home. I’m really tired.”

  “Sure. Call me if you need me, okay?”

  She gave her friend a quick hug, then left the office. Now she understood. He’d thought she was reacting to his musk. She had to convince him that wasn’t true. Because it didn’t matter what scent he was throwing off, or who he didn’t treat. She needed him. With a little kindness and care, he’d broken down something inside her. Maybe, just maybe, he could help her rebuild it. Twice as strong. So that she could hold on to the child she had, find the two she’d lost, and ultimately be the mother each deserved.